Mr. Everyone

It indeed is difficult to follow... but makes the reader read it over to understand break it down, rewrite the ligns so they have less syllables. but overall i liked ...

Quote: Now I'm a Junior in High School, And take what I say with caution, Because it may change even the hardest of people, And things may never be the ...

now that she brings up the point dragging heels doesnt only make it seem as some1 past out, but maybe isn't to nimble on there feat... =)

some of the ligns/questions are answerable by simple logic... maybe you should state more original and not so predictable questions keep writing and =) happy reading (=

Welcome to the site. I like you poem's theme. you should work on using some more "I" verbs maybe, keep writing =) happy reading(=

Congradulations That is a fine piece of work, probably because each and almost everyone one of us can relate to it. Congradulations again. Keep writing =)happy reading(=

"With air touching my lips I feel prickle on them Many days have passed You did'nt come" When doesn't air touch your lips? try adding some punctuation like said above ...

I love the poem fun to read but the beginning was a little boring I guess maybe you could put some ligns together and make them couple syllables longers. but ...

i love the poem, i agree with the pov but i dont like the word "it" at the end of the fourth lign... maybe u should spice it up with ...

i agree with her^ the ditto syllabled ligns get tiring to read after about 6 ligns and the reader is suppose to sort of finish the poem, i like your ...

The poem doesnt make very much sence... Do the narrators switch?

"I Liked you And you liked me." The word "liked" doesnt seem that powerfull for a deep narrative like this. I liked your theme and the last sentace seemed week, ...

theme was good maybe keep off the conversational tone with this time of poetry and keep the use of the word stuff to a minimal

=) i edited it, ty groink

ty for the critisism =)